Hmmm, COIN experience? Check.
How things might go down in the job interview for Afghani-Stan McChrystal based on this:
GEN McChrystal Applies For Job As New Homeland Security Secretary, Replacing Napolitano | Western Rifle Shooters Association
So …Stan, do you mind if I call you Stan? Well, it really doesn’t matter. Look, sorry if there are any sore feelings from pushing you out a few years ago, but you know how it is with the big guy. Plus, you’ve seen it before when flag officers suddenly get an opinion of the boss, they retire quickly.
I want you to know that the boss doesn’t hold a grudge against you. No seriously, he’s really impressed with the work you’ve done, your background, the way you think and your approach.
Janet has been doing an okay job over at DHS. But we need to shake things up over there. They’ve gotten too complacent and comfortable. A bunch of ball-breaking bitches and bull-dykes in league together just wussifying the whole organization-even the boss is scared to go to the men's room over there.
It’s been like that at State too with Hillary. You know, that stupid-ass reset button she gave to the Russians-what an idiot! The drunken Colombian bar parties, twisted ankles, and mystery concussions as excuse slips for Congress will wrap up over there soon too. Between her and Janet, we’ve got border guards dead from Gunwalker and an Ambassador-a U.S. Ambassador dead with all the fingers pointing back to us. Seriously, we’ve got to get those bitches out of there in order to get them some plausible deniability, shred some e-mails, purge some memories, write some Presidential Pardons and regain control. Affirmative action is all well and good, but they're embarrassing the boss and it’s got to stop. We can't move FORWARD so long as they're in place.
Botox boy is going in at State and the Senate will never vote against one of their own so he's good. Not worried about him screwing things up over there. State’s not where the action is anymore though. We’ve overthrown some dictators in the Middle East and the “Mission Accomplished” banner is up. Know what I mean?
But at DHS, we really need a strong leader with balls to come in there, clean house, and take that organization to the next level if you know what I mean. We’re going to face some real opposition on the streets in our own country from these hick clingers and some of their friends in a number of different corners. It’s going to take a real man to do the job, not some 300 pound, failed sex-change butch that can’t even get a decent hairdo. You’ve got the experience in sweeping every corner, leaving no stone unturned, running tough interrogations of the bad guys, and making sure to leave no trace as you go. Great stuff. Really!
I don’t have to tell you the threat we face, or remind you what happened to Petraeus, or point out that since Schwarzkopf died you’re suddenly the primary middle east expert among retired generals. We're a little thin on retired military help that we can call on. Plus, there’s plenty of stuff from over there that could come back to bite over here like –stan biting Stan. So, whaddaya say, will you take over at DHS? You’re in. Right?
Thanks, I knew we could count on you, Stan.